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Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Rowe's Jackson interview fake, says lawyer - from ninemsn

It appears (surprise) that The Sun newspaper made up the "interview" with Rowe re paternity of the children, and also that the "bald, emaciated, covered in needle marks" report of the autopsy was not true.

I really wish that you could believe that "news" was actual FACT instead of speculation or outright lies in an effort to trick the family into issuing a formal statement.

Read the news report here

Things I did not know about Michael Jackson

see Oddee.com for full list...

Michael Jackson-esque Egyptian Sculpture



Flickr user mandalariangirl took a photo of this ancient Egyptian female sculpture picture in the Field Museum in Chicago. She speculates if Michael Jackson got some ideas for his plastic surgeries.
(Source)

Jackson's Patented Anti-Gravity Boot



Michael Jackson invented and patented special boots that allowed the wearer to lean so far forward that it seems to defy gravity. He used this for the famous "lean" in the "Smooth Criminal" music video.

US Patent 5255452 (Source)

Michael suffered a rare genetic disease



Michael Jackson was suffering from a rare genetic disease called Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency. The condition is just one among the 8,000 or so known rare disease worldwide. (Source)

the sky, from Smoker's Alley

It looks like a nice day, at the top of the well...

the Orchid Mantis

I had never heard of this creature, but... just... wow.



Monday, 29 June 2009

Irony

Equality comes at a price - literally

July 1 should be a day of celebration for the nation's same sex couples, when their relationships will become formally recognised under many federal laws.

But many gay and lesbian Australians are finding that equality comes at a price - literally.

From next Wednesday, when the law starts to recognise de facto gay couples, Centrelink will also begin taking into account gay partner's incomes when considering eligibility for benefits.

So for a university student who lives with a full-time worker, they may lose their Youth Allowance cheques.

But more concerning, for the gay community, is the effect the new laws will have on elderly couples, who could be forced to go from receiving two single pensions to one couple's pension.


It's an interesting dilemna - I had certainly been aware of the irony of the two-single-pensions vs. legal recognition of partnership, but had not considered the aged pension. As I do know people who are still on the "Widows Pension" despite that category no longer existing, I'm a bit surprised that these changes - which will primarily affect the elderly - are not being grandfathered in.

How humiliating for the cougar...

SAGE, Riverside County -- A woman got the surprise of her life when she walked into her garage to see why her dogs were barking. She found a full-grown mountain lion.


...being held at bay by her three chihuahuas.

Ana Lee Spray, 23, says her three toy chihuahuas were barking so loudly that it woke her up Saturday morning. She couldn't figure out what was wrong, and got up to check on the dogs. When she saw the animals standing guard at the opening of the garage, Spray investigated further.

She ran into her daughter's bedroom, which has a window that looks into the garage, and quickly got the answer staring back at her.

The chihuahuas, which weigh about three pounds each, had cornered the mountain lion. She says the big cat appeared to be angry and began hissing at her and foaming at the mouth.


Read the full story here

Conspiracy theories abound

I think this is called a "straw man argument"...

Limbaugh Blames Sanford's Affair On Obama, Because Why Not?

[...]

Apparently, it's all President Barack Obama's fault, for killing people's "spirit," and making them so "fed up" with the SADNESS that they've got no other choice but to abdicate their grown-up responsibilities and start philandering "before Obama takes away their money" and "their house." And Bill Clinton was in Argentina "the other night," too! So everyone is going to Buenos Aires, for succor. It will be a marvel and a wonder if any 2012 contender hasn't logged some serious time with Latin American mistresses.

Anyway, I think we can all agree that this is a very cunning plan by President Obama, who somehow managed to depress Sanford's spirits so much that he started having an affair months before Obama even became President and started enacting policies.

But then, this is just how Obama's parents and the State of Hawaii planned it out when they spirited the Kenyan infant into the United States and faked his citizenship! "The perfect scheme!" they said, "This mixed-race boy will surely have no trouble winning the presidency! And then, we will totally have our revenge on a South Carolina Governor we've never even heard of yet, for some reason!"

[...]

Saturday, 27 June 2009

Origin deaths settlement 'demolished' (NEWS.com.au Article)

Origin deaths settlement "demolished"
From: AAP
June 26, 2009

PAPUA New Guinea police have demolished a settlement where three people were killed in State of Origin-related violence.

Heavily armed police escorted two bulldozers into the Five Mile settlement in Port Moresby, pulling down shops, bars and trees along a one-kilometre stretch of the main street, the ABC has reported.

Three Papua New Guineans - two of them university students - were killed in the area after State of Origin football celebrations turned violent on Wednesday.

Click here to read the full article on the website.

Friday, 26 June 2009

fucking boils

I have no smegging idea what's going on here, but cannot sit/stand/walk comfortably. Fverytime we get rid of one, two more pop up overnight. This has NEVER happened to me before.

GP this morning, AGAIN, for multiple lancings. I hate my life.

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

tongues and brains... not just for eating!

Brain Piercing

Apparently there's a section of the brain that - if you drill holes through your skull, thread through a piercing bar and wait for the swelling to go down (while vaguely hoping that that "infection of the brain" stuff is an urban myth) - pressure on it will keep you in a permanent state of euphoria. Hmmm. Euphoria (& potential brain death as a result of DRILLING HOLES THROUGH YOUR SKULL) suddenly not sounding all that interesting.

Tongue Tattoo

Someone in the US has developed a tattoo ink that works on the tongue. Ideal for freaking out your dentist, although someone has already wasted that space by having vomit tattooed. On his tongue. Forever. Like.... what?!? Also, about 3 weeks of not being able to talk, breathe or eat properly due to swelling. But if you get past that! Wa-hey!



Seriously, can we subsidise the brain piercing for obnoxious people (nominated by petition, taken down with tranq guns, returned unconscious)?

Cultural Misunderstandings... (or, Not Quite Clear On The Concept)

Each Friday night after work, Bubbal Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of Bubbal's neighbors were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Bubbal, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubbal attended Mass... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, ''You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic."

Bubbal's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubbal's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement...

There stood Bubbal, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted:

"Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb but now yara, you are a potato and tomato!"

British government spells end of 'i before e' rule - Yahoo! News

 
Wee    ar    al   doomd.

British government spells end of 'i before e' rule - Yahoo! News

ah, dubious Engrish - when it's good, it's good

Thursday, 18 June 2009

Fwd: YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE NEEDED.

*sigh*

----- Forwarded message -----
From: m_g0022 <m_g0022@libero.it>
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:58:21 +0200
Subject: YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE NEEDED.
To:

DEAR FRIEND,
I AM MR MOHAMED ABDU, THE BANK MANAGER HERE IN BURKINA-FASO. I REALLY NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE IN TRANSFERRING THE SUM OF $20.5M US DOLLARS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. CONTACT ME THROUGH HERE: (mr_mohamedabdu@voila.fr) FOR MORE DETAILS ABOUT THIS TRANSACTION.

THANK'S
MR MOHAMED ABDU
YOUR'S FAITHFULLY
MANAGER.

a post from Ugly Overload:


The only thing better than a sea cucumber is a swimming sea cucumber (Enypniastes eximia). These echinoderms have fins where their feet should be, and they use said fins to help them undulate and wobble across the sea bed in search of food.

The swimming sea cucumber might almost be dismissed as a balloon animal, were it not for the blood-filled viscera, that unsightly length of intestine running through it's middle.

Thanks for the swimming sea cucumber, Jelo.


ssshudder

Ah ha-yav thuh be-yest tuh-rayluh 'n thuh ho-wel pahk


The Boeing 727 House, in Benoit (Mississippi, USA). The plane set Joanne Ussary back $2,000.00, cost $4,000.00 to move, and $24,000.00 to renovate. The stairs open with a garage door remote, and one of the bathrooms is still intact. And let’s not forget the personal jacuzzi in the cockpit.

ah, Dilbert...

 

US govt asked Twitter to delay shut down - from ninemsn

Excellent to see the US administration recognising social networking for its advantages. Good on Twitter for providing a voice.

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

This is the quote in my sidebar today, and I though it worth noting:

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.
- Nelson Mandela

ow (nsf squeamish readers)

Q: What's WAY more grosser* than having an egg-sized boil in your pubic area?

A: Waking up to find an equivalent amount of bloody pus, in your bits.

One very intensive shower later...

Monday, 15 June 2009

from "Lost and Found", by Lucy Cavendish

"Being sad is different from being depressed. Depression is inexplicable, long term and difficult to deal with. It is not necessarily logical. Depression is when you can't see why you should bother to get up in the morning. Depression is when you want to spend all your money, then kill yourself. Depression doesn't make sense and no one can snap you out of it. A cup of tea and a hug don't help."

If it's not one thing...

...it's a-fucking-nother.

Staph infection gone? Check.
Antibiotics finished? Check.
Thrush gone? Check.

Back to health. Oh... wait...

Boils in the groin.

Walking like a cowboy. Hurts to sit, stand, walk. Will be carrying "emergency pants" to work for the next week in case (as they did last time) the boils burst. Hoorah.

Friday, 12 June 2009

A British bride-to-be has cancelled her wedding because her groom turned out to be a porn star.

Haylie Hocking, from Bristol, ordered her priest to cancel her big day just weeks before she was due to walk down the aisle after finding out her groom, 30-year-old fitness trainer Jason Brake, also made adult films, Britain's Telegraph newspaper reports.

Ms Hocking's friend made the shocking discovery online while searching for male strippers for a hen's night. She spotted the groom-to-be in a compromising position with a woman in a pornographic movie.

[...]

Mr Brake admitted he had been making adult films but said he would have stopped it if his fiancee had asked him to.

"The sex side is purely for the camera, but Haylie did not understand I was only acting," he said.

read more here


"Would have stopped it if his fiancee had asked him to"... stop doing something she didn't know he was doing? I'd be doing more than cancelling the wedding.

"Mom arrested after naked toddler wanders from filthy home"

Nasty, nasty people.

SUMMERFIELD - The mother of a 3-year-old girl found wandering naked in a neighbor's yard was arrested Monday on a charge of child neglect.

[...]

The deputy escorted the child and her mother back to the husband's home. The place was so dirty the deputy felt he were walking on a carpet made of filth, the report said.

Grantham saw rotting food in the kitchen, and, on the bathroom floor, toilet paper, some of it soiled, six to eight inches high. He found garbage in the bathtub and the bathroom. The two bedrooms were filled will rotting food, garbage and unwashed clothing, the report said.

Also found were rusty knives, metal cans and household chemicals.


read more (and more pictures) here

12yo Girl abucted, "converted", married, lost


ReligionNewsBlog.com • Item 23492 • Posted: Friday June 5, 2009  

Click here... More articles on this topic: Islam

Police ridicule Christian mother for kidnapping complaint; others demand money, labor.

LAHORE, Pakistan, June 4 (Compass Direct News) — The Christian mother of a 12-year-old girl in Punjab Province - who was kidnapped, coerced into converting to Islam and forcibly married to a 37-year-old Muslim - hopes to recover her daughter at a court hearing next week.

The reaction of Pakistani law enforcement authorities to Sajida Masih’s complaint so far -- ridiculing her and asserting that there is nothing she can do because her daughter is now a Muslim -- does not encourage her hopes of recovering her daughter Huma at next Thursday’s (June 11) hearing.

Masih said that Muhammad Imran abducted Huma at gunpoint on Feb. 23 from Hanif Kot village in Gujranwala district, forcibly converted her and then married her. Imran has since disappeared along with his first wife, three children and new child-bride.

Masih, who worked alongside Imran as a farmhand, said the kidnapping occurred on her son’s wedding day. Masih said that when she sent Huma and the child’s aunt out of their home to see if transportation had arrived for the wedding party, Imran -- who had helped in preparing for the ceremony -- was waiting and told her to sit on his motorbike.

Huma did not understand and, with her concerned aunt tightly holding her hand, she refused.

Masih’s attorney, who requested anonymity for security reasons, said Imran took out a pistol and told Huma that he would shoot her as well as her parents if she did not obey; he also pointed the weapon at her aunt and said that he would kill her. Huma got onto the bike with him; her family has not seen her since.

Masih immediately ran to the owner of the farm where she and Imran work, Khan Buhadur, who told her to first finish the wedding and then see him in the evening. Masih’s attorney said that when she and relatives went to Buhadur after the ceremony, however, he said only that Imran had fled with his family along with the girl, and that he did not know where they were.

Suspecting that Buhadur was complicit in the kidnapping, Masih went to Sadar police station in Gujranwala. Police officers first ridiculed her, the attorney said, and then told her to go back to Buhadur because “only he could do something.” For several days officers and Buhadur shuttled her back and forth between them.

Unable to get police to register the case, Masih submitted a report with the help of a lawyer and took it to the police station, where officers consigned it to the dustbin.

Three days after the kidnapping, police finally registered a First Information Report (FIR) on Feb. 26 -- but changed the age of the kidnapped girl from 12, as her mother reported, to 16. Moreover, Investigating Officer Niaz Khan told Masih that the FIR was useless since she was too poor to hire a lawyer, and that she should try to reach an out-of-court agreement with Buhadur -- implying that he knew of the child’s whereabouts.

The Masih family learned from a friend of Imran, identified only as Javed, that Huma had converted to Islam and had married the fugitive father of three. Javed further said that Imran had told him police would do nothing as he had paid them 50,000 rupees (US$620).

The family subsequently received a court notice, the attorney said, stating that Imran had requested nullification of the FIR on Huma’s abduction, claiming she was an “adult” and had “willfully” converted to Islam and married him.

According to Huma’s birth certificate, issued by St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in Gujranwala, she was born on Oct. 22, 1996. The attorney said that Imran had submitted a fake birth certificate stating she was born on Dec. 23, 1990, which would make her 18 years old. The legal marriage age for girls in Pakistan is 16.

Only then did Masih obtain the pro bono services of the lawyer who is now handling the case.

A hearing on the case had been scheduled for May 6, but because of a change of judge a new date was set for June 11. Unwilling to wait, the family and their lawyer went with a court bailiff to a factory owned by Buhadur in Gujranwala on May 14, hoping to get help in recovering Huma, but Buhadur did not cooperate.

Buhadur had been demanding that Masih pay him 100,000 rupees (US$1,240) that she had supposedly borrowed from him, but this demand only surfaced after the kidnapping -- an implied attempt to extort money from her in exchange for information on the whereabouts of her daughter, according to the lawyer. Buhadur withdrew this pressure on Masih after the visit from the court bailiff and efforts by the attorney.

At a meeting of villagers on May 16 at the Sadar police station, Buhadur said that Imran owed him money and that he would inform officers if he learned anything of his whereabouts.

Another land owner, Karamat Ali Saroyya, subsequently called Masih saying that Huma was in Muridke, near Lahore, but when Masih and her lawyer set out again and met with Muridke police, they were unable to find her.

Saroyya later demanded that Masih work on his fields for one year in order to get her daughter back.

Masih’s lawyer and other legal representatives said police and officials at the Municipal Corporation’s office, which keeps birth and death records, have been reluctant to help, saying that Huma had converted and that therefore there was no reason that she should be returned to non-Muslim parents.

 - Pakistani Muslim Forces 12-year-old Girl to Convert, Marry Him, Brian Sharma, Compass Direct News, June 4, 2009 — Posted at Religion News Blog by permission

Thursday, 11 June 2009

Why Catholic views of Obama are important

Excellent editorial.
Those Catholics who regard a moderate progressive like Barack Obama as the enemy -- despite the fact that his already unfolding social and health programs, including support for impoverished women, will do more to reduce the number of abortions in America than the glibly pro-life George W. Bush ever did -- have so purged ethical thought of any capacity to draw meaningful distinctions as to reduce religious faith to blind irrationality. They have so embraced a spirit of sectarian intolerance as to undercut the Church's traditional catholicity, adding fuel to the spreading fire of religious contempt for those who depart from rigidly defined orthodoxies. They are resurrecting the lost cause of religion's war against modernity -- a war of words that folds neatly into the new century's war of weapons.

http://www.middle-east-online.com/english/opinion/?id=32075

Sleep typing

"OK, thanks - as it's been signed off, though, I think it should be v1.0 rather than 0.1 - can you confirm? Ditto with my mother and brother and hoever else migh have died"

This is... *disturbing*

from the article 15 Extremely Flexible Women on Oddee.com

 

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

jail ... for violating a man's right to be pretty

Holy cow. It's interesting to see different priorities at work in the legal systems of different countries, but.... what? no, it's not. The guy pulled a TOUPEE off a public person. People: baldness is natural. Embrace it. Combover, toupee, ponytail - don't care - they're all bad.

TAIPEI (Reuters) - A man who tore the wig off a telegenic Taiwan legislator last year was sentenced to five months in jail for depriving the MP of his freedom to look good, a court spokesman said Tuesday.

[...]

"The judge thought Chiu Yi had the freedom to wear what he wanted, and Chiu felt the wig made him look prettier," court spokesman Huang Chin-ming said. "The judge thinks that to remove it intentionally was to take away that right."


read more here

If you go to Nairobi...

...this would be a place to stay. The giraffe herd lives on the property and shares breakfast with you. Sort of like breakfast-with-the-birds at The Habitat in Cairns... except these birds are really REALLY tall.




The Giraffe Manor is an elegant, personally hosted, small and exclusive hotel, famous for its resident herd of giraffe. The Giraffe Manor offers a rich blend of welcoming accommodation, highly trained and friendly staff, as well as one of Nairobi's finest kitchens.



Sleep typing

Meeting Minutes: "AB advised that the downed plane will not affect the testing process or timing."

See what watching the News does to you?!?

Carradines grasping at straws...

David Carradine's family are delusional - they're claiming that he was killed by a top-secret kung-fu sect that he was about to "expose".

I suppose that feels better than saying "yes, our son may have been doing naughty things with himself", but... seriously?

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

"side effects", or "you could die horribly while we claim to be fixing you"

Someone recommended the new drug Humira, which is apparently just now listed on the PBS, so its price is restricted. Works WONDERS for psoriasis, I was told.

Since I've also just been told that the endlessly open wound on my back is a psoriasis lesion, when I had previously thought I only had a small patch on my toes, suddenly a "cure" seems more relevant. So I went to http://www.pbs.gov.au, and looked up the Patient Information for Humira.

Dear God. I think I'd have to have oozing psoriasis lesions all over my head and body before I'd even contemplate this stuff.

Side Effects:

Type 1:

* Severe Rash, hives or other sign of allergic reaction
* Swollen face, hands, feet
* Trouble breathing, swallowing
* Shortness of breath with exertion or upon lying down or swelling of the feet (sorry - what? Shortness of breath with (a) or upon (b) or (c)? And... Why would you have shortness of breath with swelling of the feet? If not, why mention swelling of the feet? Didn't we cover that in the 2nd OMGWE'REGOINGTODIE point above?)
* Signs and symptoms suggestive of blood disorders such as persistent fever, bruising, bleeding, paleness (please play again - there are no "blood disorders such as ... etc". Oh, "signs and symptoms such as..." - well, sorry, but that's not what you said)

These are very serious side effects. You may need urgent medical attention or hospitalisation. These side effects are rare.

Type 2:

* Persistent cough, weight loss, listlessness, fever (although weight loss would look good on me, if I get any more listless I may remain horizontal forever, so... bad.)
* Signs of infection such as fever, malaise, wounds, dental problems, burning on urination ("malaise" - definition: (1) a condition of general bodily weakness or discomfort; (2) a vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy or discomfort. Not really a "sign of infection" per se. Also "dental problems"...?)
* Signs of nervous system disorders such as numbness or tingling throughout your body, arm or leg weakness, double vision
* A bump or open sore that doesn't heal (wait... that's the problem I'm having NOW. hmmmm)

These are serious side effects. You may need urgent medical attention. Serious side effects are rare.

Type 3:
* Injection site reactions (including pain, swelling, redness or itching)
* Upper respiratory tract infections (such as bronchitis, pneumonia)
* Headache, dizziness
* Increased Cough (randomly capitalised word, perhaps the writer thought he was in Germany briefly. Would that be "thought he was in Germany for a brief span of time" or "for a moment, thought he was in Germany"? Yes, I even heckle myself.)
* Abdominal symptoms such as nausea, diarrhoea, abdominal pain, (ha! random end-of-sentence comma that belongs nowhere!)
* Rash, itching
* Fatigue
* Urinary Tract Infection

These are the more common side effects.


You know, according to this, I might already be taking this medication.

glasses - half price, or double?



I don't think it's just me...  This price option makes no sense.



I think it should say "why buy 1 when you can get 2 for less than half the price of 2 elsewhere..."

Thursday, 4 June 2009

post from the Borowitz Report

** Talented Ugly Person Baffles World
**Networks Lift Restrictions on Unsightly

The success of singer Susan Boyle on the reality show "Britain's Got Talent" has caused both television networks and their viewers to reconsider the intrinsic value of ugly people, media experts say.

In living rooms around the world as well as in the executive suites of media giants, those exposed to the Susan Boyle phenomenon are grappling with the paradox - thought impossible up until now - that an ugly person could be talented.

In New York, NBC chief Jeff Zucker confirmed that his network was "seriously considering" lifting its official ban against featuring unattractive people on the air.

"For years, the letters NBC have stood for ‘No Butt-ugly Characters,'" Mr. Zucker said. "We're beginning to re-think that."

Jenifer Genterson, a news anchor from Abilene, Texas, is just one of a chorus of beautiful TV talking heads who have been startled and inspired by the surprising presence of talent in an ugly person.

"In the TV business, we're told that beauty is everything," Ms. Genterson said. "But Susan Boyle has shown us that ugly people have the right to live, too."

But Professor Logsdon, who studies the rare occurrences of ugly people in the media at the University of Minnesota's School of Communications, warns that the isolated example of Ms. Boyle may give ugly people around the world too much hope.

"The fact is, only one in a million ugly people will ever get on TV," said Professor Logsdon. "Most of them will wind up in academia."

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

social media breakdown, courtesy of Despair.com

Scare in NSW Camp

PRESS RELEASE
SCARE IN NSW ORIGIN PREPARATION CAMP

Training in the NSW camp was delayed nearly two hours late this morning, after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the ground.

Initially the officials thought it was a prank!!

Ricky Stuart immediately suspended training, while police and ASIO were called to investigate.

After a complete analysis, NSW Police forensic experts determined that the white substance, unfamiliar to most of the players, was in fact, the goal line.

Practice was resumed this afternoon after Police and ASIO decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

Health warning

If you get an e-mail from the Department of Health warning you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu, ignore it - it's just Spam.




Spam, I was surprised to find out, is made by Hormel... the same people who made that atrocious non-food-product that I had for lunch the other week.