Apparently there's a section of the brain that - if you drill holes through your skull, thread through a piercing bar and wait for the swelling to go down (while vaguely hoping that that "infection of the brain" stuff is an urban myth) - pressure on it will keep you in a permanent state of euphoria. Hmmm. Euphoria (& potential brain death as a result of DRILLING HOLES THROUGH YOUR SKULL) suddenly not sounding all that interesting.
Someone in the US has developed a tattoo ink that works on the tongue. Ideal for freaking out your dentist, although someone has already wasted that space by having vomit tattooed. On his tongue. Forever. Like.... what?!? Also, about 3 weeks of not being able to talk, breathe or eat properly due to swelling. But if you get past that! Wa-hey!
Seriously, can we subsidise the brain piercing for obnoxious people (nominated by petition, taken down with tranq guns, returned unconscious)?