Subscribe / Share

Subscribe Share/Save/Bookmark CONTACT me by e-mail at:

Friday 27 April 2012

AUSTRALIAN CRIME REPORTING v. English as she is spoke

Just a few notes, addressed to The Media:

(1) OK, here's the thing: at some point, the phrase "shot dead" tripped and fell head first into the Media-way, and - instead of driving over it until it was just a grease stain - the media pulled over, picked it up and took it home. "The woman was shot dead" - NO! Gah.

Look, it's not hard: has anyone ever been "stabbed dead", or "drowned dead", or "beaten dead", or "suffocated dead"? NO! Because that implies that the person was ALREADY DEAD, and *then* was shot/stabbed/beaten/suffocated. The phrase you want, Media, is "shot and killed".

(2) This one is far rarer, but it made the mistake of crossing my path soon after an instance of (1): "a man was killed today in Melbourne, after being hit by a train." Now, that right there? THAT is a bad day. First he gets hit by a train, and then later he is killed! That is one unlucky guy.


Sunday 8 April 2012

Dobson Using Debunked Myths Against Planned Parenthood

Dobson: Planned Parenthood Based on 'Evil' and 'Wickedness'

Best line:

Hawkins [...] explained that Planned Parenthood is an all-powerful "abortion Goliath" that only cares about making money by getting girls pregnant, tricking them into getting breast cancer and ultimately coercing them to have abortions.


Thursday 5 April 2012

Pet Interpretation

Our dog has learned to hate suitcases. If there's one on the coffee table or on the bed, he slinks away miserably. I think he might be an Indigo dog (*snark*).

We were all away for ~2 weeks for a funeral, by the end of which the dog was apparently refusing to eat. My parents left again 4 days later, on a holiday they'd been planning for ages. That was 3.5 weeks ago. The dog has been... Clingy. Follows me around biting my toes (this means "I love you" in some secret doggy way).

They get home tonight. The way my head's been, I'll be asleep... until the car doors shut, & the dog has a mental breakdown, which goes something like this:


The worst part? My mum leaves again on Thursday - going to a grandson's 1st birthday. I may have to get the dog some doggy Xanax.

Sunday 1 April 2012

CLAYTON'S JOB-HUNTING: the job-hunting you do when you're not job-hunting

[that's an awkwardly long & cumbersome title; I'll think of a better one later & then probably forget to update it here anyway.]


ME: "Dear Sirs: your website content is apparently edited by monkeys, drunk on fermented coconuts. Herewith are three examples from one paragraph on your site."

REPLY: "Oh, my, that IS bad! Um... do you want a job?"


I used to send websites quiet, polite emails, about how there were some errors they might like to know about, FYI, just helping out, etc. Being nice started to annoy me, so now I send nasty emails instead.

Since I started doing that, this is the third time I've had a job offer. 

I swear, I'm going to write a book titled, "Snark: How Insulting People Can Work For You".

Ben Pobjie's Wonderful World Of Objects: "Are Women Funny?" and other questions to ask if you are somewhat slow

Ben Pobjie's Wonderful World Of Objects: "Are Women Funny?" and other questions to ask if you are somewhat slow

Brilliance leaks from his every pore, and some snark gets caught up in there as well. Go, read. I think it's funny, although apparently I may not have the gene responsible for recognising humour. But it FEELS funny.