UK national ID card cloned in 12 minutes | 6 Aug 2009 | ComputerWeekly.com

UK national ID card cloned in 12 minutes | 6 Aug 2009 | ComputerWeekly.com

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smeg

Money. I have none.

Well, not strictly true. I have $75 left. Two days after payday. Twelve days before next payday.

* Need dressings for my back: $35.
* Need to fill 2 scripts: $35 each.
* Need to buy lancets for the blood testing: $20.
* Need to buy smokes: approx $150.

(I realise the non-smokers are now rolling their eyes, but to my fellow addict people let me point out that I have stopped eating everything I am habituated to snacking on, and have replaced half my daily Diet Coke with water. I am already extremely cranky & depressed. If I stop smoking as well, I may commit homicide.)

At any rate, I think it's clear I have not-enough even without the smokes.

Again: Smeg.

engrish

Kahloo, KaFragginLay - I am NOT insane!

Well, that might be a bit sweeping, I think I am a *little* insane. But I am not losing my mind to the extent I feared.

I found it. Proof. I did NOT hallucinate ordering the iPhone. 3's online ordering system had a glitch and the online upgrades went "Poof".

What a relief!

a former what?

This was the headline and lead:



Yes. "The former giant viewing screen now known as Tony..." What is it now, if it's not also currently a giant viewing screen?

Despair.com calendars

Despair.com is giving away four free months and lots of funny factoids in their new 2010 Calendars!

Despair.com

Despair.com Adds New Demotivators! RECOVERY, SELF-ESTEEM and SURVIVAL

hah! Free marketing for Despair - that's OK, they've done well by me. :>

The Waking Dreams...

Yeah, it's funny, those waking dreams. Ha. Ha.

Like the other day, when I burst out laughing during a physio visit, as I realised that the reason I was mad at my mother was because I'd just found out that I was born a hermaphrodite, and that she'd made the wrong choice. I mean, *obviously* not, but it felt real until I analysed the "memory" of the conversation and realised it didn't make any linear sense. Possibly the penguin was the giveaway. But I was nonetheless ANGRY that I hadn't been given the option of being a fat lonely man instead.

Today's one? WAAAAAY less funny. Last week I went onto the 3 website (three.com.au) to upgrade my handset. That was on Wednesday, I think. All the iPhones were sold out, but I REEEEEALLY wanted one, so I decided to wait and try again. On Friday I tried again and the 32Gb black was available. Hoopla! Score! Thursday delivery!!

I posted to Facebook that I had my iPhone, did a little dance etc. Over the weekend I downloaded some free apps, talked to my brother about what apps he might recommend. I had dinner with @kissability on Tuesday night and had a look at hers. The security guy at work, who also has one, has been on alert since 9am for the delivery guy. I just rang them. 3-Mobile have no record of me ever successfully applying for an upgrade. There is no delivery guy. There is no iPhone. Despite my absolute, frantic certainty that I HAVE done this... all the evidence says otherwise.

Did I dream the whole "Friday I tried again" part? The Facebook and Twitter parts happened, I can see those status updates.

This is very unsettling. What if next time it's something actually important, instead of something as trivial as a new phone?

Free Tools to Back Up Online Accounts

Lifehacker.com has an excellent post on Free Tools to Back Up Your Online Accounts, including this on Twitter:

Back Up Your Twitter Account

If your tweets are more than just ephemeral toots of the moment, you want a backup copy of them on your computer. Twitter only makes up to 3,200 tweets available for download on a given account, so if you're approaching that number there's even more reason to start saving your stuff—because it won't be available from the Twitter web site proper.

Command line lovers can use this clever method to download their tweet XML via cURL. Alternately, web application Backup My Tweets does just that and lets you download your tweets in HTML, PDF, or JSON format, with a gotcha: you have to tweet about Backup My Tweets in order to use the free trial. We posted about tweet backup solution Tweetake, which outputs your tweets in a CSV file, but be warned: Tweetake requires you enter your Twitter username and password on their site, which isn't the most secure option the Twitter API offers. (Don't enter your Twitter password anywhere other than Twitter.com itself; if you do to use a Twitter-related service, change it immediately afterward.) For more Twitter archiving options, check out the social media experts' picks over at ReadWriteWeb.

What do people think about "Don't enter your Twitter password..." etc? A lot of applications/non-Twitter clients require it to work - what's the option?

fookin' (lack of) dosh

More and more sick days = more and more unpaid days = oh shite.

Pay this week was 2/5 of the normal amount. All regular payments have to be skipped.

Currently in bank: $430.
Currently in pocket: $30.
Currently owing:
* $600 (6 weeks) rent
* $35 chemist
* $70 physio
* $145 (3 months) RACQ car insurance
* $270 (3 months) MBF health insurance
* $50 GP
This list does not cover the ~ $50,000 owing to various financial institutions, just my "regular" ongoing payments.

Imminently required:
* ~$200 chemist supplies (incl. diabetes stuff, antidepressants, dressings for open infected wound on my back, etc)
* $70 for dietitian (tomorrow)
* ~$50 iPhone case (I play hard with my toys, it's worth the prevention)

I'm fucked.

I'd sell my body, but either the humiliation of not being wanted or the disgust/self-loathing of going through with it, would be the final straw.

shit.

what is this?

Very poor quality photos of an unidentified insect. It's about 1"/2.5cm long, orange with a black abdomen. 6 legs (2 held to the front parallel to the body).

oh, dear...

Overheard in...

...the office.

Bad Move, buddy

Office peon to big boss lady: Oh, move! You're taking up the whole hallway!
Big boss lady: I beg your pardon?
Office peon: Did I say that out loud? You know how people usually say that when they're joking? I'm not joking... I really didn't mean to say it.
Big boss lady: Perhaps you should follow me to my office.
Office peon: Yes... probably.

Sydney
Australia

a one-man battle against a state's gay marriage ban

Citizen McConkey: a one-man battle against state's gay marriage ban

Some very apropos comments in this article, re the Right's response to McConkey's campaign.

Overheard in...

...New York

Nature: 2, Nurture: 0

Hyper five-year-old boy #1, shocked: And in France, men kiss each other! On the cheek!
Hyper five-year-old boy #2, mumbling: Wow, I wish I was French.
Hyper five-year-old boy #1, puzzled: Wait, what?
Hyper five-year-old boy #2, disgruntled, sighing: Nothing.

--Coldstone Creamery

 

You just KNOW.

Overheard in...

...New York, the office and everywhere.

Custom Tattoo

Client: So, how will we work it out if I want a custom tattoo designed?
Tattoo artist: Have you ever been shopping with your girlfriend where you just sort of follow her around for a while and point stuff out until you figure out what she wants?
Client: Yeah...
Tattoo artist: It's just like that, except you're the girlfriend.

Americana Tattoo Parlor
Augusta, Georgia

Discipline

Daddy: If you don't eat...
Three-year-old boy: You'll hit my butt? I like it when you hit my butt, it feels good on my super wee-wee!

Chick-fil-A
Columbia, South Carolina

Fight the Power

Secular Muslim salesgirl #1: What do you think of what I am wearing?
Secular Muslim salesgirl #2: I'm glad you asked, it's bizarre. Why are you wearing such a short skirt? It's winter! And is that shirt actually lingerie? And why are you wearing a veil? Especially with all this? I've never seen you wear a veil!
Secular Muslim salesgirl #1: My grandmother put glue in my shampoo bottle to try to force me to cover my hair and dress more conservatively. I didn't have time to fix it. I had to wear a veil. And the rest... well, I couldn't let her win.

Clothing Store
Sarajevo

Seconded by the residents of every major city

Tourist counting her group, which is clogging sidewalk: Carla? Has anyone seen Carla? Okay, Marie? Marie?
Passerby, interrupting: First, let me thank you for visiting our city. We appreciate it. Second, get out of the fucking way.

--Broadway & Canal

FW: ADF Base Security . . [SEC=UNCLASSIFIED]

All,

To quell panic and dismay raised over Wednesday's terrorism raids in Melbourne and Colac, the Government has taken the following steps:

All Base Security Levels have been raised from "She'll Be Right" to "Yeah... Righto";

Chubb / ESS / Serco Security personnel have been provided with bigger flashlights and a thermos of Minestrone for each shift;

Local Neighbour Watch Groups have been mobilised to provide internal base security patrols; and

Inspector Rex (Germany's most experienced counter-terrorism expert) is being rushed to Australia to aid the ongoing investigation. He'll be immediately put into action once he's released from Customs, and has been wormed.

Remember be vigilant. "Cocked eyebrows save lives."

Regards,

Paul

P. Anic
Director
Office of Homeland and National Overreaction
Ph: (02) 6054 2666
Fax: (02) 6054 3666

Email: panic@oh no.gov.au

Teen passenger in speeding car sues driver who was hit

Only in America.  This is obscene.

SALEM -- The driver of a minivan who was seriously injured when she was struck head-on by a drag-racing teenager doing 81 mph is now being sued by the teenager's passenger, who was also injured.

A lawsuit filed yesterday in Salem Superior Court suggests that Christine Speliotis "carelessly and negligent (sic) failed to avoid the collision with the other vehicle head on."

[...]

[The driver] Timothy Pereira, 19, of Salem is out on bail awaiting trial on charges that include racing, speeding, driving to endanger and failing to stay within marked lanes.

Investigators from the Salem and state police concluded that Timothy Pereira was going 81 mph on Fort Avenue, a road with a 30 mph speed limit, when he lost control, veering across the center lines and into the path of a Honda Odyssey minivan.

Speliotis, 42, of Salem, and her passenger, Stanley Swaczyk, 50, of Marblehead, suffered broken bones and other injuries. Police said Speliotis was traveling at a reasonable speed for the road, and she was not charged with any wrongdoing.

[...]

Speliotis had already filed a lawsuit against Timothy Pereira in April, seeking damages of at least $88,000 for medical bills and other expenses. She suffered a fractured hip and leg and had to undergo surgery to insert metal rods and screws to repair the damage.

In a formal response to the suit, a lawyer for Timothy Pereira also raised the suggestion that Speliotis' "own negligence caused or contributed to any injuries that the plaintiff may have suffered as alleged in the complaint."

Via PostSecret...

pillory the mother

I'm not going to retell the whole "Kyle & Jackie O show" story, or argue about media ethics. What I can't figure out is why all the ooh-ahh comments are ignoring this:

THE CHILD'S MOTHER KNEW ABOUT THE RAPE & PUT HER ON LIVE RADIO TO BE ASKED ABOUT HER SEXUAL HISTORY.

With all the other crap, Kyle losing the radio show *and* the judging spot on Idol, we're hearing nothing about a woman who DELIBERATELY created a situation in which her daughter could be humiliated on national radio.

The hosts and the radio station are not the girl's parents - blame must be placed on the mother, who abused both the child's trust and her own authority.