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Tuesday 6 October 2009


Turner Prize Chumps from Notes From a Hospital Bed:

Each year, the Turner Prize is awarded for ‘an outstanding exhibition or other presentation’ of art. It’s named for the brilliant English painter JMWTurner, a bit of a visionary who was a genuinely gifted fellow when it came to wielding a paintbrush and putting a few splodges of colour down on canvas.

Quite how the art prize that bears his name managed to morph itself into a competition for adults who appear to have severe learning difficulties and delusions of adequacy is a mystery to me.


Like a lot of modern artists, [celebrated artist Joseph] Beuys must have been barking mad. He once covered his head with honey and gold leaf, wore one shoe with felt on its sole and another soled with iron and then walked through an art galleryfor two hours, explaining the art hanging there to a dead hare that he was carrying. Now I’m no art critic but if that isn’t a display of complete mental breakdown then I don’t know what is.

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